Learning to See

I was going to post something light-hearted today. But it's been another week for weeping...

-Protests in Hong Kong starting again and all the violence that follows

-The CCP voting for the new security law in Hong Kong

-George Floyd being murdered in Minneapolis

-The protests that sprung up and the violence that followed

This is just the surface of it all - it would be impossible to list everything.

And so I have wept again this week and I have asked Jesus to give me eyes to see as that is his call to me these days "Come and See, Jemma. Come and See."

It's not an easy call, it's far easier to just ignore what is happening, to say it doesn't affect me so I don't need to see. Or simply just to see what the news would tell me.

And yet, I need to see.

Living in Hong Kong last year showed me a glimpse, the tiniest glimpse, of the overwhelming frustration of living under a system or a government that refuses to listen to a group of its people.

The desperation that springs up when peaceful cries for change are simply ignored. The unique rage that rises when it seems that nothing you can do or say will be listened to, when those who voice dissent suddenly become the enemy, when any action that you take can be used to explain why you are wrong and should be punished. I did not personally suffer beyond a couple of minor inconveniences and the heartbreak of seeing a city I love torn apart by hatred and fear, but I could see people who did suffer.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not excusing violence and destruction on any side. But for the first time I understood how you could get to that place.

And so now looking at the situation in America it makes sense to me why and how protests would go the way that they did. Especially the way the situation has been so inflamed by reactions to those protesting.

Again, I'm not excusing violence and destruction - but as a human being, if I had experienced even a fraction of the volume of violence against my community, the constant discrimination, and lived under a system that I know would not listen to me or protect me or my family and friends... Then I know I would feel a rage that I can not currently imagine given my lack of these experiences. People telling me to calm down would definitely be counter-productive!

As a Christian I believe that Jesus calls us to be people of reconciliation. I believe that light can shine into these dark situations and things can change. I believe that unjust systems can be broken down and justice can be restored. But it is so much easier to be an armchair spectator of this. It is easy to see how other people should turn the other cheek and be the bigger man. We call on communities that have suffered for so long to "just get over it" and find a nice, sanitised way to express their distress. I think so often the reconciliation we imagine is pretty far off what reconciliation might look like in reality. We want things to change but only if we get to keep our comfort. 

If I am not willing to have God search my heart for the ways I harbour hatred, and hold back from love and reconciliation in my own life how can I call on this from others who are hurting more than me. If I am not willing to let go of things that make my life comfortable then am I really committed to this reconciliation? This week God showed me ways that I fall short in this area.

And so I continue to learn to see. 

I continue to learn to see the reality of my heart.

I continue to learn to see the pain and the hearts of those who suffer.

I continue to learn to see the ugliness that can be hidden beneath the surface of systems dressed up so that it's hard to notice at first.

I continue to learn to see and hear before I speak. 

I continue to learn to see what cost reconciliation has.

I continue to learn to see God in the midst of this all.