Not An Option
All I want to do right now is give up. That's the honest truth. Unfortunately that is the only thing that's not an option...
You have no idea how frustrating that is. In fact it's so frustrating that it stops me sleeping and makes me cry - even in public places! But then today I suddenly started thinking: Why? Why am I so clear that it's not an option? Why after all this time do I still think that?
Answer: Jesus! My Lord.... my Amazing Awesome God.
That's the only answer I can possibly give... and yet to many it would/ does sound entirely bizarre.
I have faith that even as I am brought to despair - still... that even as I see no way out at all... he is more than capable. Everything he has promised is true. Yes, I may physically see no actual light at the end of the tunnel so to speak but that does not matter:
Hebrews 11 1"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I do not actually have to see it right at this moment for it to be true.
He has promised to bring me out of this, that he will never leave or forsake me etc And I have set my heart on the truth of these promises therefore giving up is not an option.
As I was sat watching the 'Quest' video with my students today and the question... "Why do people believe in things even though they can't see them" came up it reminded me of this truth. It reminded me that I do not need to see it for it to be true. It also made me think about the fact that even when we don't see some things themselves we can see evidence to help back up our faith. So whilst the water going down a waterfall might be evidence to back up my belief in gravity.... the things I have seen God do before... the examples to be found in the bible... the things he even speaks to me at this time.... are evidence to help back up my belief in God's faithfulness.
And so in some ways I'm no further on really - I'm still stuck...I still can't even imagine how this will work itself out - yet in another sense everything has changed. Where my heart was troubled there is now some peace, where I couldn't help but weep - I can now stop.
The answer was so simple - to look right at my Loving Father...
So often I look at him - but don't really see him. So often I think I'm looking at him - but nothing changes. How sad!
You have no idea how frustrating that is. In fact it's so frustrating that it stops me sleeping and makes me cry - even in public places! But then today I suddenly started thinking: Why? Why am I so clear that it's not an option? Why after all this time do I still think that?
Answer: Jesus! My Lord.... my Amazing Awesome God.
That's the only answer I can possibly give... and yet to many it would/ does sound entirely bizarre.
I have faith that even as I am brought to despair - still... that even as I see no way out at all... he is more than capable. Everything he has promised is true. Yes, I may physically see no actual light at the end of the tunnel so to speak but that does not matter:
Hebrews 11 1"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I do not actually have to see it right at this moment for it to be true.
He has promised to bring me out of this, that he will never leave or forsake me etc And I have set my heart on the truth of these promises therefore giving up is not an option.
As I was sat watching the 'Quest' video with my students today and the question... "Why do people believe in things even though they can't see them" came up it reminded me of this truth. It reminded me that I do not need to see it for it to be true. It also made me think about the fact that even when we don't see some things themselves we can see evidence to help back up our faith. So whilst the water going down a waterfall might be evidence to back up my belief in gravity.... the things I have seen God do before... the examples to be found in the bible... the things he even speaks to me at this time.... are evidence to help back up my belief in God's faithfulness.
And so in some ways I'm no further on really - I'm still stuck...I still can't even imagine how this will work itself out - yet in another sense everything has changed. Where my heart was troubled there is now some peace, where I couldn't help but weep - I can now stop.
The answer was so simple - to look right at my Loving Father...
So often I look at him - but don't really see him. So often I think I'm looking at him - but nothing changes. How sad!
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