A poem

Almost six months on...and I'm not there yet....it still HURTS!!!!!
But today was a public holiday and I took some time out with God. It was a struggle to get into his presence. Everything possible seems to get in the way of my time alone with him these days. But eventually ... something happened. He reminded me of who he is, the perspective I so often lack, my frequent daftness and a whole host of other stuff. Out of that time I wrote a poem (well actually a few). It's been an AGE since I did any actual writing of my own - despite spending my life encouraging others to write. Not really sure why I want to put it here - but I do, so here's one of them (very much in draft form). At least it's a little more positive than some of the previous posts!


****************************************************
Why do I run around in circles?
Hearing then forgetting,
Knowing and not doing.
It exhausts me God!
I need you... and yet...
I act like I don't.
I'm exhausted, shattered, destroyed-
and yet-
I sign up for the next marathon task.
Sometimes it feels like one step forward
swallowed up in six back.

God as I go back,
the prowling enemy
snaps
at my heels and I'm scared.
The sight,
The sound,
terrifies me
ENTIRELY
I'm ready to be consumed
There is nothing I can do.

So I lift my hands
in surrender and desperation.
I glance up - eyes follow their path
and then
I see
YOU

A distant bright star in the sky.
I see your strength, intensity and light.
Your light wraps around me.
Your promises lift me...
I am with you always
I am the beginning and the end
I am your rescuer
You belong to me
I love you outrageously
I am fighting for you
I will strengthen you
I am victorious already
I am he
It is I

***************************************************
So - what he reminded me...
See your battles as I see them
See yourself as I see you
See other people as I see them
See me as I really am
See like I see