Being Single in the Church: A Rant

Since moving to Penang I'm running our of fingers to count the times people in the Christian community insinuate (or sometimes directly state) that marriage is superior to singleness. I mean, Hong Kong wasn't free from such talk but Penang is next level! And this is even before people find out my actual age and marital status. People have literally come out and stated that you can't serve God/ evangelise/ grow as an individual as effectively as a single person so it's better to get married. The first time I heard such statements I thought I must be imagining it .... but it's happened multiple times so I'm pretty sure it's what people were really saying.

I can't get my head round this ... how can you read the bible and come to this conclusion? I mean Jesus? Paul? Have we forgotten that they never got married just for starters? Or did I miss something. Are there some extra chapters I missed? I mean I don't even need to quote a single scripture to highlight the issue with the theology here.

Also, are you telling me that God is confined in his ability, and/or willingness, to refine my heart due to my marital status? Surely it is not whether I am married or single that impacts His ability to refine me, but rather my yieldedness (or lack thereof) to Him and His heart. He's certainly been refining me!

And the fact that I point out your glaring gaps of logic/theology in this argument is not proof that I don't know how to submit - and therefore proof that you must be right cos "see single people don't know how to submit." Submission doesn't equal agreeing with things that are clearly false just because a leader/ married person/ man tells me it.

Of course God uses marriage to shape and transform us if we are married. Of course marriage is a wonderful, God given gift. Of course we should celebrate marriage/ marriages. But singleness is a gift too let's not forget.

No wonder there are so many unmarried Christians who struggle so much with the fact they are single...

Apologies for the saltiness.... but seriously! Is this common in other places I wonder?