Reflections On a Massacre, a Movement, and Love

Today, on the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Massacre, I re-read the memoir of one of the leaders of the Tiananmen Square student movement.  I haven't read this book in many years but I remember being deeply moved the first time I read it. And today I knew that I needed to read it again. Now, more than ever, it is so important to be informed of the facts of history not allowing myself to twist those facts to create a narrative that suits my purposes, goals or worldview. Around the world this day is remembered for many reasons but primarily, I believe, because of the erasure of the event from China's official history. If I allow myself to change the narrative of what happened for convenience or laziness sake then I surely am not that much better than those who seek to erase it's existence entirely.

In the light of the last year in Hong Kong, in light of the injustices I have witnessed, in light of the frustrations and hurt that have erupted from a community that I love, and (if I'm completely honest) in light of my context as a diasporal British Citizen keenly aware of how my own country had previously been the perpetrator of injustice in this very same land, my heart and my mind were somewhat cloudy as I perceived the whole Hong Kong situation. Not intentionally so, but oh so cloudy. But I was ever so blinded to this.

As I fasted and prayed for Hong Kong last week God started to open my eyes to this cloudiness. One night during this time I dreamed that I saw a figure (that seemed to clearly represent the enemy) tempting people to speak curses over the Chinese people; handing them a piece of paper with words that cursed the Chinese people written on them. And people who were distracted by the chaos of protests that were happening around them took and read out this script, cursing the whole nation and people group of China believing that they were only speaking out against the leaders. Then the dream suddenly cut to things that I had said and thought about China. When I awoke I was so convicted and cried and repented and prayed for God to remind me of His love for the nation and people of China, not just Hong Kong. To forgive me for allowing anger and frustration to replace His heart.

And so today, as I read with a soft heart, what stood out to me was the love those students had for their nation, for China. In one section of the book is the transcript of a speech given by a leader of the student movement that became the manifesto of the hunger strike in May 1989, a few weeks before the terrible destruction of life which shocked the globe:

"...The country is our country. 

The people are our people.

The government is our government.

If we don't shout, who will?

If we don't act, who will?

Our shoulders are still tender. Death still seems to heavy for us. But we go on. We must go on. History has called upon us.

            

Our passion and loyalty for our country have been labelled dong luan, a "chaotic disturbance" with "hidden motivations manipulated by a small gang."

            

We ask every honest Chinese citizen - every worker, peasant, soldier, intellectual, government official, policeman, and those who have fabricated our crimes - to place your hand over your heart and ask your conscience: What crimes have we committed? Have we caused turmoil? We boycott classes. We march and protest. We go on a hunger strike. We give our lives. But our emotions have been repeatedly played. ...

            

...We don't want to die. We want to live, and live fully, because we are in the prime of our lives. We don't want to die we want to learn all we can. Our nation is wretchedly poor. We do not have the heart to abandon our motherland through death. That is not what we seek. But if the death of one or a few can make the lives of many better, if these deaths can make our homeland stronger and more prosperous, then we have no right to live on in disgrace...."       (pg 133-134)

The longing for change, for democracy, for freedom from corruption in the hearts of these students was born out of a love for their nation. Not from a desire to leave their nation, or destroy their nation, or reject their nation in favour of western ideals, or a hatred of their nation but rather a love that was so strong they were willing to risk death on multiple occasions throughout the movement.

As I hear the cry coming out from Hong Kong in this season I hear this same cry echoing once more. But now this cry is clouded by disappointment, by the pain of oppression, by fear, by a building hatred of those who oppress them. There is a growing roar for justice but it is a roar of those who are heartbroken and wounded and oppressed, who have experienced betrayal by their leaders. The love is still there but it is a love that is so confusing, a love that doesn't make sense, to many that feel it because the notion of China is now so inextricably linked to the nature and identity of the CCP. Yet, China is much more than the CCP, (although I'm sure they would hate me to say so!)  

Add to this the voices of well-intentioned individual foreigners who see in part but think they see the whole story and are keen to support justice (I put myself in this camp on many occasions), foreign government voices that seek to assuage their guilt or even to distract from problems within their own borders, and the firestorm that social media has brought to the world and no wonder it's such a confusing and complex web. Each and every response is tainted by underlying motivations and differing world views, which is not to say that they are all wrong or bad necessarily, but rather to say that they should be interpreted carefully and not simply accepted as Truth.

 

When situations are this complex it is easy to want to try and simplify them, to bring understanding to what is so difficult to understand, to find a solution. But today as I take time to remember the horrible, brutal, traumatic betrayal and murder of a group of students that simply loved their nation my eyes are opened again to God's heart for this whole nation. I am reminded again of God's heart for both Hong Kong and China. I am reminded again of the cry that is hidden in the heart's of Hong Kongers that joins with the cries of those students, and all the other who joined them, from Tiananmen Square in 1989. 

And so I pray for this land and these people that I love. That hearts would be healed. That the hearts of parents would turn towards their children not against them. That the hearts of the leaders and the police would turn towards the young people again. That the hearts of the young people would turn towards their parents and leaders and their rightful inheritance. That the hatred and fear that is so overwhelming in Hong Kong right now would be overcome by love. That there would be reconciliation. That the church would rise up in love and not allow any other motive to guide their actions or distract them. That believers would be strengthened to continue to walk out this calling despite the exhaustion of living in a society that screams against this. That God would convict the hearts of individuals to turn away from hatred and anger towards love again. That justice would be done. That He would start with me and my heart.

 

   

NB - these are the ways I am challenged today. I'm sure I will be challenged again tomorrow and the next day and the next day, I'm sure my view will develop and grow, I'm sure there are many nuances I have omitted to mention because this situation is far more complicated than any one post can possibly do justice to. This is probably the first time I am able to articulate the impact my background has in how I have viewed the situation in Hong Kong and so I finally feel comfortable writing more publicly about it despite the fact that the situation has gone on for longer than a year and I have held strong convictions on the subject which you may have heard in conversation.

If you are interested in knowing more about what happened and about the democracy movement in China during the 1980's I would strongly recommend this book "A Heart for Freedom" by Chai Ling. As with all these big issues we face today it is so important to educate ourselves before we decide we have an answer!