Worshipping Wastefully
Since I was a new Christian just 7 years ago I've always longed to waste my life, my time and my worship on God. It's just something that's always been there somehow. It's the main feature of most of my journalling over these last few years. But in recent times it's got harder. When you experience an abundance of favour it can get particularly tough. So many demands on your time and your affections. So many responsibilities and so many good things. This year has been super tough in this regard and very, very overwhelming! I have experienced ridiculous favour - but as I have tried and tried to use this favour responsibly I have found myself sinking. Where I used to be able to waste hours with God, I found myself with no time to spend. And it felt like it was killing me. I seriously cannot survive if I am not wasting myself over God - which may sound crazy - but that's how it feels.
This last week has been different though. Beginning with a 4 day weekend and soooo much time spent worshipping wastefully with brothers and sisters who also desired this I have been restored in all areas. Yes spiritually, but also emotionally and physically. And God is challenging me to TRUST him WITH the FAVOUR I've been given.
Last night conversation, worship and prayer turned to trusting God .... in many areas I thought I was ok - but then today God asked me 'Do you trust me with your favour? Are you willing to waste that on me?' And I realised that some of this recent striving has been because I've been trying to protect and hang on to favour of man (with good intentions!) rather than trusting God to take care of it. Yes I have been given crazy favour with people in this season, but isn't he behind it all? The challenge has been to stop and worship wastefully in the face of responsibilities and favour. And as I've done that this week, somehow everything has been done. Plus I feel alive again, there is nothing I love to do more than waste hours in prayer and worship!
And in any case the question he asks me even if you did lose this favour on earth wouldn't you rather have favour with me?
There is so much freedom in these revelations. It is good to let them sink in deep and transform my heart. To let them release peace, freedom and rest. I'm still learning, but I'm excited for this new season. =)
This last week has been different though. Beginning with a 4 day weekend and soooo much time spent worshipping wastefully with brothers and sisters who also desired this I have been restored in all areas. Yes spiritually, but also emotionally and physically. And God is challenging me to TRUST him WITH the FAVOUR I've been given.
Last night conversation, worship and prayer turned to trusting God .... in many areas I thought I was ok - but then today God asked me 'Do you trust me with your favour? Are you willing to waste that on me?' And I realised that some of this recent striving has been because I've been trying to protect and hang on to favour of man (with good intentions!) rather than trusting God to take care of it. Yes I have been given crazy favour with people in this season, but isn't he behind it all? The challenge has been to stop and worship wastefully in the face of responsibilities and favour. And as I've done that this week, somehow everything has been done. Plus I feel alive again, there is nothing I love to do more than waste hours in prayer and worship!
And in any case the question he asks me even if you did lose this favour on earth wouldn't you rather have favour with me?
There is so much freedom in these revelations. It is good to let them sink in deep and transform my heart. To let them release peace, freedom and rest. I'm still learning, but I'm excited for this new season. =)
Comments