Thoughts from the side of my heater
Hong Kong is SO COLD right now! It definitely wasn't this cold for this long last time I was here for winter but the cold snap keeps on going. Right now I really miss central heating... and snow days.... and my kitchen... and Cambridge... the list goes on!
Instead of central heating I have an electric heater which follows me round wherever I go in my apartment. The thing with my heater is that sometimes in an effort to get warm quicker I get that little bit too close. And when I get too close I can feel myself starting to burn or something and that pain is my warning to move away. That I am too close and that if I stay there I will get hurt. It's a protective mechanism. A way of protecting ourselves from injury. It's not just physical injury we try and protect ourselves from though... we try and protect ourselves from emotional injury too. That's something I've been thinking a lot about this past week. Realising that, amongst other things, perhaps I 'protect' myself so much that I no longer let God protect me....
Suffice to say it's been an uncomfortable week and my heater has now seen me shed many a tear. But, God is starting a new work in me. As I struggle on he continues to remind me how much I can trust him, of his great love for me, of his gentleness, of his strength. He asks me to lift my soul up to HIM and him alone. He reminds me of each of his promises to me and he uses those around me to keep on pointing me back to him. He points out to me how each of his children, all those around me, need him so desperately, he imparts his secrets into my soul. And before I know it I am a softer person. The brittleness of my strength is replaced with a 'weakness' and grasping on to the promise "I will be with you wherever you go" I pick myself up, dust myself off and head back out to the 'battleground'.
Instead of central heating I have an electric heater which follows me round wherever I go in my apartment. The thing with my heater is that sometimes in an effort to get warm quicker I get that little bit too close. And when I get too close I can feel myself starting to burn or something and that pain is my warning to move away. That I am too close and that if I stay there I will get hurt. It's a protective mechanism. A way of protecting ourselves from injury. It's not just physical injury we try and protect ourselves from though... we try and protect ourselves from emotional injury too. That's something I've been thinking a lot about this past week. Realising that, amongst other things, perhaps I 'protect' myself so much that I no longer let God protect me....
Suffice to say it's been an uncomfortable week and my heater has now seen me shed many a tear. But, God is starting a new work in me. As I struggle on he continues to remind me how much I can trust him, of his great love for me, of his gentleness, of his strength. He asks me to lift my soul up to HIM and him alone. He reminds me of each of his promises to me and he uses those around me to keep on pointing me back to him. He points out to me how each of his children, all those around me, need him so desperately, he imparts his secrets into my soul. And before I know it I am a softer person. The brittleness of my strength is replaced with a 'weakness' and grasping on to the promise "I will be with you wherever you go" I pick myself up, dust myself off and head back out to the 'battleground'.
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